Saturday, February 21, 2009

Kids Fuck Everything Up

I am sick of kids fucking shit up. I don't just mean like kids under 10 but kids all the way through college. They ruin everything fun in this world. Why do they do it? Because they are just trying to have fun in ways they aren't supposed to. They ruin drugs for everyone by doing them on youtube.

They ruin porn with the idea that they might actually see porn is somehow enough to send congress into a lather. Heaven forbid that parents learn how to block adult adult content from their kids computers. Not that kids won't always want to look at porn. Sigh. Kids have always been sneaking a peek at their dads magazines or videos since that kind of material became available. .

They ruin video games by losing their shit over losing at them or losing access to them. I mean seriously. Kills lose their shit over video games in the craziest ways possible. The same goes for ruining movies and TV by acting out what they see and getting themselves killed.

The only thing they don't seem to be able to do is ruin gun ownership. I mean kids can kill each other, kill their dads, kills dad's girlfriend, They kill their fellow college classmates, whomever and somehow guns don't get regulated. Not to say that the kids don't get punished. They get to spend their lives in jail if they don't kill themselves early.

Oh yeah. Back to the whole global warming thing. We're fucked.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Fuck you abstinence education

I fucking love the website Think Progress. It provides a great daily dose of stuff to get very very angry about.

Today's bummer is abstinence education. Why is that a bummer? Because its naive to think that just telling kids not to do it is going to stop them from fucking. You know why? This isn't the middle ages. You can't tell kids not to fuck because it goes against the lords will. You can't tell them not to bone because they might get pregnant and ruin their lives. Kids are going to fuck. They are exposed to sexy shit all the time. Over-sexualized young hot chicks are being blasted in everyones eye constantly. The saddest thing is that teen fucking is probably the best, least inhibited fucking of all fucking. Sure its dumb and you make all kinds of stupid decisions about who to sleep with but the dumbest decision you can make it to start fucking as a teen without the proper knowledge about how to protect yourself from getting diseases or pregnant.

Now no one wants their kid out there fucking like a rabbit all the live long day. Thats the basis of abstinence education as far as I can tell. They are like "If i don't tell my child about the upsides of safe casual sex and instead explain they shouldn't do it because of God or whatever then they will be less likely to go out and bone all the time." Well sorry to break it to you (which means I am not sorry) but that is bullshit. Nothing is worse than an ill informed teen using their broken knowledge base for fucking. I mean I have worked with teenagers. They tell each other the craziest bullshit about sex. I have been told "If you jump up and down after sex you won't get pregnant." That was probably made up by the guy you just fucked who wanted to see your hot teen body jumping around naked. "I heard you can douche with coca-cola after sex to kill the sperm." this is a great way to pour sugar in your vagina. Great idea.

Florida teens who believe drinking a cap of bleach will prevent HIV and a shot of Mountain Dew will stop pregnancy have prompted lawmakers to push for an overhaul of sex education in the state. Another myth is that Florida teens also believe that smoking marijuana will prevent a person from getting pregnant,

Every child should be told that they shouldn't be having sex until they are ready and not to give in to peer pressure but to avoid teaching them how to have safe, reasonable sex at the same time is negligent.

I saw these images at Great to Wait! Florida's abstinence encouragement site.
If parents are believing this I am really sorry for them. You obviously don't know what your kids are up to. While that stat may be true over all it definitely shrinks as you go up through the grades.

This one really made me laugh.

That may be true of girls but I don't know ANY boys who would have waited. Virginity is viewed as a burden by boys starting before high school....

You fucking people...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Sweet Jesus... These People Run the Country

Some how Darwin now says that all men aren't created equal because of Evolution... Way to go Virginia.... FUCK!!!!

Holy Fucking Job Loss

If you have a job right now you better be thankful and if you don't you better learn to love Ramen noodles and water real quick. Shit is fucked world-wide. That is no exaggeration. 

The International Monetary Fund expects that by the end of the year, global economic growth will reach its lowest point since the Depression, according to Charles Collyns, deputy director of the fund’s research department. The fund said that growth had come to “a virtual halt,” with developed economies expected to shrink by 2 percent in 2009.

“This is the worst we’ve had since 1929,” said Laurent Wauquiez, France’s employment minister. “The thing that is new is that it is global, and we are always talking about that. It is in every country, and it makes the whole difference.”

Meanwhile you have so many a-holes trying to refute global climate change all the while the data to back it up is Global Climate Change is getting more and more conclusive.
"We now have data showing that from 2000 to 2007, greenhouse gas emissions increased far more rapidly than we expected, primarily because developing countries, like China and India, saw a huge surge in electric power generation, almost all of it based on coal,"
Pretty fucking depressing...

I've been watching Plant Green Channel. Its pretty fucking boring. They've been running the same promo for the Ed Begly Jr. show. That show is mildly entertaining but the rest of the shows are really just like Flip this House or that any other remodeling show. The only rub is that instead of just being regular rich people who are doing house rebuilds or whatever its MEGA RICH JERKOFFS building eco friendly houses that no regular person could ever afford to do. Most people couldn't really even afford a few of the upgrades. Yet another is the endless stream of shows designed to entertain while simultaneously make you feel shitty about your lot in life.

God damn shit is fucked up. Oh, also Glenn Beck continues to be a know-nothing moron who should be out of a job.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Our Shitty Foreign Policy Continues to Produce Shit Fruit

Well more of the same. People keep forgetting that we are just pouring insane resources into the great sinkhole of the middle east. Maybe people aren't forgetting but they sure as hell aren't constantly reminded about it. We're reminded of the sacrifices of soldiers, progresses made and attacks on the fragile peace by religious zealots. Yes thats all good and true but often overlooked is just how totally fucked and corrupt that part of the world is. Stuff like this is happening all the time and has been since we got there.

Stuff like "One Third of All Weapons Procured for Afghan Forces Are Missing - Presumed Sold" and countless stories of Billions Lost or Missing in Iraq.

There were no banks or wire transfers to pay them, no bean counters to keep track of the money. Just vaults and footlockers stuffed with billions of dollars in cash.

"Fresh, new, crisp, unspent, just-printed $100 bills. It was the Wild West," recalls Frank Willis, who was the No. 2 man at the Coalition Provisional Authority’s Ministry of Transportation.

The money was a mixture of Iraqi oil revenues, war booty and U.S. government funds earmarked for the coalition authority. Whenever cash was needed, someone went down to the vault with a wheelbarrow or gunny sacks.

"Those are $100,000 bricks of $100 bills and that’s $2 million there," Willis explains, looking at a photo of brick-shaped stacks of money wrapped in plastic. "This, in fact, is a payment that we made on the 1st of August to a company called Custer Battles."

Willis says the bricks of money were also sometimes referred to as footballs, "… because we passed them around in little pickup games in our office," he says laughing.

Oh what fun to be a war profiteer

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Guess what? You just fucked your friends

The bummer here is just more of the classic bullshit war on drugs and stigma that smoking weed has. It's absurd that this is even a story. Who gives a shit if the guy pulled tubes at some party. I don't. I'm not some master weed champ and you won't find me at a NORML rally but weed just shouldn't be illegal and the demonization of it just criminal and wrong.

So the douchebag who took this picture and then sold it to English tabloids didn't just fuck Phelps for whatever he got paid. Nope. He got 8 of his "friends" arrested. 7 for possession of weed and one for distribution. The guy whose bong it was got busted trying to sell it on ebay for $100,000.

The photo, first posted in the British tabloid "News of the World," showed Phelps smoking the drug pipe in November of last year. According to WIS-TV, the party took place on the University of South Carolina campus at Blossom Street, near the Five Points area.

According to court records, the person associated with that address is a friend of Phelps and a professional poker player. He was charged with marijuana possession on Saturday.

The station is reporting that the eight people were arrested on charges related to marijuana. Phelps has not been charged.

This is such a fucking bummer its retarded. I mean the implications are staggering. Plus with all the new gps tech being implemented into phones the next time you take a picture of yourself smoking weed or doing coke or some other illegal thing the police might be able to get that picture, use the geo-tag info an then go to the house the party was at and arrest people. Fuck you people. Whoever sold this picture to the press should get nut punched to death in front of his parents.

Shit is Fucked Up!

Well, hello there. Maybe you already knew this. Maybe you haven't been paying attention. Maybe you're just a hopeless optimist. Maybe you are just stupid. Basically things are fucked and this is where you come to get your daily dose of depressing.

My first bummer is Glenn Beck. Why this guy has a job or is allowed to be seen by other humans is beyond me. Every word that leaks out of his ass-mouth appears to be dumber that the last. Classic disingenuous right wing dummy who says things that if he really believed should be locked away. Depressing!

What's the matter? Not depressing enough for you? Oh, it'll get worse.